What to Do When You Don’t Attend Church
Written by Pricelis Perreaux-Dominguez
I was 18 when I left both church and the Christian faith. The reason for that is a much longer story for another time. No traumatic thing happened or anything like that; I literally just stopped believing in Christianity, which highlights the importance of having a firm foundation of faith in God.
So, when I left, I spent years looking for God in different places, people and practices. I didn’t find Him in any of those spaces, but eventually when I was drawn in again at 22, I found Him once more through people. Specifically, my friends and husband (who was my boyfriend at the time) helped draw me closer to God.
1 Corinthians 12:12 states, “For even as the body is one and yet has many members, and all the members of the body, though they are many, are one body, so also is Christ.”
You get to see the beauty that is found in the body of Christ while you remain in search of a healthy church community to belong to, get discipled by and serve at.
When the Bible says that the church is the body of Christ, it’s not lying. The church is literally the body of Christ: people who choose to follow Jesus into the unknown and unexpected faithfully. The people who perhaps are weary and still worship. The people who show the goodness of God by way of their gratitude. The people that don’t just invite you to church but invite you into their lives. That’s the church.
Many of us right now are churchless and reasons for that vary. It can be because your church closed, or you moved away, or the last community you were a part of abused or hurt you. Or perhaps you’re in a weary season of not wanting to be involved in the current state of Western Christianity or maybe you have another reason altogether. But whatever your reason is, that doesn’t mean you don’t get to actually be part of a church.
Sunday service does not totally equate church.
Buildings are not churches.
Conferences are not church either.
Church is composed of people, community, family and friends. So, what do you do when you don’t belong to a specific church or attend a Sunday service?
You get to be part of communities that love Christ and live in His truth through friendships and gatherings.
You get to commune with God in the secret place of your relationship with Him.
You get to be in God’s word and let the Holy Spirit be your Shepherd and your best commentary.
You get to be the church for others if you have the capacity and strength to do so.
You get to worship in your living room with an ongoing YouTube playlist on blast.
You get to take communion in your kitchen either by yourself or with your family or your roommates.
You get to see the beauty that is found in the body of Christ while you remain in search of a healthy church community to belong to, get discipled by and serve at.
But while you wait, I encourage you to search, pray and heal. You are allowed to acknowledge that you are still the church and the people that follow Christ in your life make up that as well.
So, if you currently don’t belong to a specific church, here are some things you can do:
- Grieve: Most of us long to be a part of a specific church community. It’s okay to grieve that you don’t have one right now.
- Gratitude: Praise God for the people He has placed in your life – not based on quantity but on quality and how they have served as the church to you.
- Gain: Develop an understanding of God’s Word beyond someone teaching it to you.
- Grow: Continue on the journey of consecration, repentance and holiness as God leads you in the direction of flourishing.
- Goal: Create a list of the kind of healthy church community you envision being part of and pray through that list with intentionality and hope.
As you stay committed to being present in your faith, God will continue to be purposeful with where He’s taking you on your faith journey.
When I was 18, I left the church and God because I wasn’t really finding God in the building. But that’s because I was looking in the wrong place. Remember that you are the church, and you’re in it when you’re surrounded by godly community.
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