Rewriting the AAPI Narrative: Take Up Space
Written by Lauren DeVera
“Take up space!” I’ve said it many times. Maybe you’ve said it to yourself or a close friend. But what does it actually mean? T A K E U P S P A C E.
Expand. Go beyond yourself. Fill up. This is a phrase we hear often when we’ve been playing small, playing safe, and not fully expressing ourselves.
In light of AAPI Heritage Month, as a second-generation Filipina-American, it’s my personal mantra to take up more space. And I don’t just mean how I show up in the world, but also how I express myself to the world and others.
We take up space simply by being ourselves, because who we are is perfect and enough.
Asian-Americans have been classified as the model minority since the 1950s and 1960s—a myth that has harmfully categorized Asians as talented, successful, and intelligent due to their quiet nature, rather than their need to survive as immigrants.
You may be wondering, how does being seen as “good” or “successful” causes harm? Well, in many ways.
Asian-Americans have higher suicide rates among their peers in colleges and are the least likely to seek professional help for their mental health.
Due to the stigmas and pressures that come not only from society but from our immigrant parents to continue the legacy of “success,” Asian Americans across the globe have been raised to do what’s “right” or what’s “best” for the family in order to keep the peace and give back to our parents who gave up so much for us.
What does this have to do with taking up space? Everything.
If we don’t take up space as an individual, how can we expect ourselves as a community to rewrite our narrative? Rewrite the narrative of what it means to be an Asian-American.
It starts with awareness.
Are you aware of how you currently show up at home? In your relationships? In your workspace? In your recreational spaces?
Are you being your full authentic self? Do you know what your authentic self looks and feels like?
Like most things in life, starting with ourselves and our circle of safe and trusted people is the best way to practice.
If you’re unsure where to start, mindfulness has been a simple and impactful way to check in with yourself. Mindfulness is noticing any thoughts, feelings, or sensations in the present moment with non-harmful judgment. You can start your awareness practice by being mindful in the small moments, such as sipping your morning coffee and noticing how it tastes and smells, or checking your body’s sensations when you start to feel overwhelmed or anxious.
Mindfulness is a gateway to awareness, which helps us take up more space when we know how we’re doing in a given moment.
What roles have you played in your daily life in order to “survive?”
Maybe you’re the over-achiever, the perfectionist, the reliable one, or the life of the party. We play these roles because we learned them in our childhood. The hard part is that these roles follow us into adulthood, and we end up playing someone we were never meant to be.
You may be thinking “that’s just how I am!” when really, we learned to behave in these manners in order to feel accepted and part of something bigger than ourselves. They may have served us well when we were young, but as an adult, this can be one of the biggest indicators that we’re not living our most authentic life.
This is your invitation to take off your mask and let your real self shine through.
Cultivate self-trust.
If we can’t trust ourselves, then who can we trust?
This means owning your decisions. Trusting that you know what’s best for you and also being okay when plans go differently. There’s something so beautiful about a person who can make decisions and trust them.
This means letting go of the need to always hear others’ opinions before listening to your own.
Like mindfulness, start with your everyday life. Can you order that item on the menu without fearing that you made the wrong choice? Can you make that Instagram post and trust that it’s good without overthinking or over-editing?
When we show up in the world with groundedness and confidence, others see it too. Energy doesn’t lie. Be the trust that you desire from others.
Lastly, use your voice. Express yourself!
When was the last time you felt like you truly expressed yourself? Where you didn’t filter what you said, you didn’t hold back on the dance floor, and you just let yourself be?
How did that feel?! Amazing? Liberating? Healing?
We are now in an era where you can read, listen to, or watch someone’s opinion on anything at any given time. Are you letting yourself be heard? Are you letting your body move and dance when you hear that new track on Spotify? Are you going to finally hit “publish” on that blog or IG post?
Your voice isn’t just what comes out of your mouth. Your voice is what oozes out of your heart, soul, and spirit. It’s how you walk, talk, and move.
When more of us do this, we allow others to do the same. That is how we take up space. We take up space by going first. We take up space by releasing the urge to wait for permission. We take up space simply by being ourselves, because who we are is perfect and enough.
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