Finding Courage and Strength in Transition
Written by Alivia Staggs
If you were asked to show the number of transitions you’ve been through in the last two years, how many fingers would you hold up?
My total number of life transitions in the past years is 11–yes, ten fingers and a toe! Some of these transitions were hard, like moving away from dear friends. Some of them were exciting, like getting married. Some were chosen, like my education. Some were forced, like all the change that came with Covid. All transitions are complex and often challenging, but transition offers us a unique and unexpected opportunity: strength and courage.
It’s true! So, to make the most of your transition and grow in your courage along the way, it’s important to be aware of what type of life transition you’re experiencing so that you can develop some helpful habits to strengthen you through the season.
Know Your Transition Type:
According to some top leaders in the field of life transition, there are four different categories of transition. They’re Anticipated Transitions, Unanticipated Transitions, Nonevent Transitions, and Sleeper Transitions.
Anticipated transitions are the most common type of transition and are typically positive. This would include but isn’t limited to graduating from high school or college, starting a job, getting married, or buying a house. Because this type of transition is often anticipated and positive, people who find themselves in it can seek advice or support from others who have lived through a similar transition.
Unanticipated transitions are the opposite. This type of transition is unforeseen and often challenging. It could be the loss of a loved one or job, a change in physical status such as an injury, a car crash, or even a natural disaster, such as a flood.
Nonevent transitions are seasons or changes we anticipate happening but never actually do. These are the “what ifs”—what we expected to happen but never did. Maybe it was a relationship you hoped would last, and it didn’t. Maybe you want to have children but can’t. Maybe it was a school you hoped to go to or a scholarship or promotion you wanted, but you never got it. Maybe it was a movement you wanted to gain traction, but it wasn’t taken seriously. These transitions are challenging and can be discouraging because they occur from unmet goals, dreams, and expectations.
Sleeper transitions occur gradually over time. This could be an aspect of your health that slightly declines over time, a relationship that fizzles out slowly, an addiction that grows, or the gradual drifting away of a once well-developed vision. These transitions are tricky, because often we don’t realize we’re in them until one day we wake up to find that things have drastically changed.
Once you know the type of life transition you’re in, you can navigate a path forward to strength and courage. Additionally, when you become aware of your transition type, you can get the motivation you need to seek community, help, direction, new opportunities, and habits—all of which can help grow strength and courage!
In addition to knowing my transition type, I’ve found the following habits to be helpful in the development of courage and strength during transition. I remember them by using the quippy phrase “Ready, Set, Grow!”
Ready Your Routine:
This new season may require you to develop a new routine. Are there certain people you need to check in with for support? Do you need to incorporate some healthy habits, like exercise or a new bedtime? Transitions are the perfect time to switch it up and develop a new, healthy routine.
Set Your Mind:
Set your mind on new things. This transitional time may be the best opportunity for you to integrate a new thought or retire an old, unhealthy one. If you follow Jesus, this process is known as the renewal of your mind (Romans 12:2). Setting your thoughts on Christ gives so much hope in all the change of transition because He’s the only one who doesn’t change or fade away. During transition, you can look for God’s mission! Do this by asking yourself some questions. Where is God working in the silence or unknown? Where is He moving in this time of transition? How might this season develop or strengthen my faith and courage? When I ask myself these questions, it takes my hope off my current circumstances and places it back on the good and unchanging God.
Grow Your Grace:
Transitions can be tiresome and challenging, and it can be easy to be overcome by shame. Instead, try to grow grace for yourself and do your best to stop self-shaming in its tracks! If the shame of regret tries to get you down, use it to your advantage. As Daniel Pink says, “When feeling is for thinking and thinking is for doing, regret is for making us better.” Ask yourself the question, “What is my regret telling me?” How does it instruct you to do something differently in the future? How does it deepen your sense of meaning? Give yourself space to recognize that good things take time, and this transition can help you to grow in grace.
While a single transition is oftentimes temporary, most of our lives are spent in the space of transitions. There can be goodness, excitement, hardship and challenge, and you can also find hope and inspiration in those spaces. So, make the most of your transition by remembering the following: know your transition type and Ready, Set, Grow! Don’t give up, friend! It’s in the transitions that we can rise, overcome, and become even stronger and more courageous in the process.
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