Oftentimes whether on social media or in interpersonal relationships, someone will find a solution to a problem they’ve faced, and then generalize the application of that solution to everyone without taking into account unique contexts, histories, or privileges. And this is not only inaccurate; it’s harmful.  

But the good news is that the simplest truths are often the most accessible, and they’re waiting there for us as we pass by them looking for something more exciting to help us. Simple truths help form the foundation for a life well-lived and help us maintain our mental health. What I’ve found is that when we have the simple truths in place, we’re able to heal and build from a foundation that feels stable, not wobbly. And, when we get lost, whether inside our own struggle, or in what is happening in the world, it’s the simple truths that will lead us back, like metaphorical breadcrumbs, to the places where we find ourselves again. 

Some of the most important simple truths I have found that are essential to our wellbeing involve our relationship to ourselves and to others. It’s really hard to feel good when you are not caring for yourself. It’s really hard to feel good when you don’t have good boundaries with others. Some of the simplest truths I find myself returning to in my own life and with clients are as follows: Rest as much as you can, especially when in a stretching season. Move your body on a regular basis to work out stress if you’re able. Validate your experience. Honor your own needs, say no as often as you need to, say yes only when you mean it, and prioritize emotionally safe relationships.

And yet, as much as I rely on simple truths as a bedrock for a grounded life, I also cringe when I see the complexity of life or a struggle oversimplified. Oftentimes whether on social media or in interpersonal relationships, someone will find a solution to a problem they’ve faced, and then generalize the application of that solution to everyone without taking into account unique contexts, histories, or privileges. And this is not only inaccurate; it’s harmful. 

Taking a simple idea, hack, or “quick way to get rid of anxiety,” is often pursued by people who are hurting in some way. We look for solutions when we are in need. And when a solve is oversimplified, or an issue is paired down to an easy 1-2-3 set of steps, there will inevitably be hurting people who try it without it working. And that is where the “simplicity” can become harmful. When someone who is in need reaches out to try something someone swears is easy and infallible, and it doesn’t work for them, guess what happens next? The person often feels like a failure, or that something is wrong with them, because it’s supposed to work—but it didn’t work for them. 

The truth is that the complexity of what anyone is facing cannot be reduced to a simple solution. It may sell or get a lot of followers on social media, but it can leave people feeling more in need and losing hope. I’ve sat with many people who have been hurt by someone oversimplifying their struggle or experience. It adds shame onto an already heavy load.

So simplicity, and simple truths, are a double edged sword. Over and over again in my therapy work I run into the undeniable power of simple truths, and the potential harm of oversimplifying an experience. The simplest of things are annoyingly needed to help us each day, and there isn’t a shortcut around how much we need to practice self and relational care. But, we are also each beautifully complex. And oversimplifying what we are going through into a quick summary or easy solve doesn’t honor that complexity. 

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