10 Questions to Get to Know Each Other Better

Five Questions For a Casual Crush

What’s a place or city you’d love to see someday?

This is a great way to suss out if you share a common love of travel or for the same destinations! It’s also a solid segue to topics like culture, food and family.

How do you like to spend your weekends?

Whether they spend them recharging, gathering with friends, or planning for the week ahead, this will give you more clues about them as a person.

What’s the strangest job you’ve ever had?

Mine was as a model for a painting class in college. Funnily enough, I married an artist… so, that worked out well. 

Are you a morning person or a night owl?

If they’re an early riser but you hit your stride at night, it’s not a deal breaker! Just be honest and consider if the compromise is worth it.

How has the pandemic changed your life?

Sure, it’s more of a serious question, but who knows. Maybe they actually made a cross-country move and that’s why they’re sitting there with you!

Five Questions For a Potential Partner

What are your core beliefs and values?

Shared beliefs and values definitely help if you’re building a life together. My husband and I are radically different people, but our common ground has anchored us and enabled us to grow together. 

Do you have accountability with others?

In my opinion, accountability is the greatest sign of maturity to look for in a partner. I’m talking about mentors and friends who are actively speaking into their life and holding them accountable to their actions and goals.

How do you practice self-care?

Self-care looks different for everyone, but the important part is that their needs are being met in healthy, sustainable, beneficial ways.

Are you willing to have a transparent discussion about finances?

Finances affect everything in relationships from our day-to-day choices, to long-term investments, to overall quality of life. Being transparent about debt, credit scores, salary, goals, and expectations is essential if you’re getting serious with someone. An example of a financial story could sound like hearing how finances affected their childhood and adulthood, and the effects of those experiences. The Financial Diet is a friendly team of experts who share insightful tips and resources to help you discuss finances in a practical way.

How do you deal with conflict?

Of course, actions speak louder than words in this area. However, it’s important to encourage self-awareness because conflict can be a sensitive topic depending on how we grew up. This is one of those areas where planning ahead really does equal planning for success.

A Few Dos and Don’ts on Asking Questions…

Do:

• Ask yourself the same questions! It’s much easier to get to know someone when you already know yourself. 
• Give them time to respond and give your full attention when they do. 
• Take the pressure off “finding the one” this very moment. You have time.

Don’t: 

• Hold them to a higher standard than you hold yourself. Idolizing our future partners is a recipe for disaster. 
• Try to force vulnerability. Some people love answering questions; some don’t. Just because they seem shy doesn’t mean they’re uninterested.
• Expect them to fit into a box of your “ideal partner.” Let them show you who they are. 

I hope these questions and tips help as you navigate dating!