Defining Beauty and Prioritizing Your Wellness: An Interview with Adaya Beauty Founder, Chelsy Gray

Really at the end of the day, the pros of being a woman and the pros of being Black outweigh all the cons.

Kaylee: Hello Chelsy, Thank you so much for being a part of the Iridescent Women Black Her-Story project. Can we start off by having you briefly describe to me what you love about being a woman and also what you love about being Black and how these two things intersect?

Chelsy: Sure thing. I always feel like women always get the short end of the stick, but I always say, “I wouldn’t want to be anything but a woman.” With being a woman, you have so much responsibility and impact. We give birth, we nurture kids…who become adults. We are so impactful. That’s why when we do things, it moves the needle. When we make the right choices and go to school it impacts the entire family. There are so many areas where we can make things happen and have a big influence on people. Things I can do will have an impact on so many people’s lives. That’s the power of being a woman, it’s the impact.

Now being a Black woman…it also has its ups and down. The joy of being a Black woman again has a lot to do with the impact. We are able to see things more holistically. When you’re Black and a woman you can better connect with all minorities. We also are surrounded and submerged in whiteness and the “man’s” world, therefore we also understand the white perspective and the man’s perspective. This makes us extremely versatile. 

Really at the end of the day, the pros of being a woman and the pros of being Black outweigh all the cons. The biggest pro being the impact that we have the ability to make. It saddens me that a significant portion of the female population aren’t aware of the potential that lies at their very fingertips. 

Kaylee: I totally agree. When we look at the Civil Rights Movement, it was centered around and benefited the Black man while being pioneered by the Black woman. The feminist movement was just the same. It was centered around and benefited the white woman, but fueled by the Black woman. We really are the backbone of progress, Black women. It’s wild.

Chelsy: It really is. Women really are so many things for so many people.

Kaylee: We really are. How would you say that you celebrate that? We have all this responsibility, but how do you personally honor and celebrate all that comes with being a Black and being female?

Chelsy: That’s a good question. I honor my femininity, my Blackness, and my impact by making sure that I’m moving in accordance to what I believe in and my values. What is feminine to me is trusting your instincts and listening to yourself. Quieting your mind, trusting yourself, moving when you want to move. We must realize our impact and what makes us special, and capitalize on that. You do that by moving in a way that aligns with you and your beliefs.

Another thing I try to do is not only celebrate myself, but celebrate my friends, too. I try to center them by reminding them that THEY are making it happen, they are moving the needle, they have an impact. I need them to know that they’re bomb and they need to lean into that. 

Kaylee: I love that. I really like your definition of feminine. I always say, “there is no one way of being Black and there is no one way to be a woman.” I am not what the world would define as the most feminine or even that dark, but I am Black and I am a female, therefore anything I do or enjoy is Black and feminine. That’s something that has taken me a while to grasp and lean into. 

Chelsy: Yes, look being Black, you have to be so many things. But at the end of the day, you have to be who you are, authentically and genuinely. There will be times when you have to change it up a bit, ebb and flow, but you have to be okay with who you are. This is why representation matters. Oftentimes we look to celebrities to define what it is to be beautiful, cool, or acceptable. But what happens when you don’t have someone that looks like you define all these things for you? I want to say that you don’t have to always look at the most popular person to define things for you. Look around you, look at your family members, your community, they know what’s up. 

I mean there are people around you that came before you. I honor my Blackness by remembering those who came before me. They made it through a time that I don’t even know that I would have survived. We have so much today…think about it. Those who came before us couldn’t google how to solve their problems. They would have to go to the library and research. That’s to say [in the context of Blackness], that they had access to a library that would even allow them in. It’s stuff like that that makes me so grateful for my family. 

Kaylee: So true. There is always someone who leads the way. It’s all about legacy. 

Well, as you know, the theme this year for Black History Month is Black Health and Wellness, why do you believe it is important for women, especially, women of color to prioritize these things?

Chelsy: Well, in my business [Adaya Beauty] after I started, I realized that a lot of beauty goals start from the inside. Mental health is crucial. I have suffered hair loss because of stress while starting my business. The aim for perfection and success, it takes a toll on your health. We already have the pressure of being excellent as Black individuals and then you add the stress of being a woman…we aren’t set up for success in the slightest.

Kaylee: We really aren’t. Can you expand a little on the stresses of womanhood and how that affects our wellness and health?

Chelsy: Yeah, women’s health is so important. Take childbirth, you never know if you’re even going to make it through childbirth. We risk our lives and body each time we bear a child. There is just so much that your body goes through as a woman that health has to be a priority. 

Then there is being a Black woman. So we have all that comes with just simply being a woman and then you add the racial micro-aggressions, the racial biases in the health system, and the fact that the beauty products designed for Black women specifically have 70% more toxic ingredients than all other beauty products, you can end up in a bad spot if you’re not on top of and tapped into your health. 

Kaylee: Do you have any advice for women and/or women of color who are looking to become more confident in their beauty and overall wellness and how they tap into it?

Chelsy: This is advice for myself too, but I think for beauty, it’s hard, but just accept who you are. Ask yourself: “Why do you feel the way you feel?” If you can understand and pinpoint why you don’t like something about yourself, you can figure out if it’s actually worth changing or what are other people’s issues. You will become more confident once you can filter out the messages. If your health is fine and you like the way you feel and look, THEN ROCK IT! 

Look, we have to work with what we have. Figure out what you can do with what you got. Own it. Evaluate why you’re not feeling confident, get to the root of it, and then take steps toward acceptance. 

I think the last thing on wellness is when you know better you choose better, that’s our company slogan. When you know about certain ingredients, products, and/or situations that make you feel a certain way, you can control it. Information is key! Did you know that 47% of women will experience some sort of hair loss? Did you also know that you can go to your dermatologist to get on top of this problem? Most people know you can go to your dermatologist for your skin, but you can go to them for your hair, too.

Confidence is rooted in information. Think of the times you weren’t confident. It’s probably when you didn’t have all the info or you didn’t have control over the decision that was made…right? So do your research, listen to your body, and make your own choices. Don’t try to be all put together and aesthetically pleasing. Just listen to your body. What does it need? Then take care of it. 

Kaylee: Wow this is all so good Chelsy! Do you have any last words on Blackness and/or femininity for those reading this interview?

Chelsy: Yeah, don’t let other people define what Blackness or femininity is for you. You can look up the textbook term, but if you can’t relate to the “definition”, let it go and create your own. It’s okay to disagree, it doesn’t make you less feminine or less Black. You get to define these things yourself. Let’s be real, 9 times out of 10, these definitions we are all turning to and striving towards weren’t even written by women, let alone a Black woman. So ultimately, if it doesn’t apply, let it fly! 

Kaylee: ”If it doesn’t apply, let it fly.” I’m going to keep that line in my back pocket for later. That is such great advice! We receive so much information and hear all these voices that are trying to dictate who we are and how we operate. It’s so great to know we have permission to disagree and let it “fly” if we need to. 

Thank you so much for meeting with me and discussing all things Health and Wellness from the Black female perspective.

Chelsy: Of course! Thank you. It was a great way to start my morning! 

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